A night of wonders
by Azza 4 Prezza
Summary: Alec has whisked Clary away for a night of adventure and a once in a life time experience. But will Clary enjoy his surprise after all he has been working on it for days and has poured his heart and soul into making this dream come true.


Own nothing

**A night of wonders**

Tonight was going to be a night to remember Clary thought as she added the final touch to her makeup, a bit of badass red lipstick to complete her look. She looked in the mirror, who was she kidding she could never pull this off. She looked like a clown.

However this was actually the look she was going for. She had died her hair green, bought a fake red nose and massive dungarees with shoes about 5 sizes too big to give her the ultimate clown look. Her red lipstick was extended past her natural lips in a grotesque smile. Clary couldn't afford any black contact lenses to give off a creepy vibe so she had to make do with a mixture of black food colouring and iodine drops, not the ideal colouring agent but it did the trick nicely in blackening her eye balls completely. She had also got one of those fake flowers that squirted water which she thought would be an excellent touch. Finally her outfit was complete but was she really going to do this? More than once Clary had heard that Alec was terrified of clowns this would be the only way to scare him, paralyse him with fear. Of course this whole operation was in aid of finally putting an end to Alec's sick perversions. Over the past few weeks Clary had noticed something was wrong with the way Alec was acting. He was sneaky, inviting strange people over and prancing around wearing blood stained jumpers, something was defiantly up and Clary was determined to find out what. After thorough investigation she deemed Alec to be… a psychopath. He had a nasty habit of torturing his friends, killing relatives and just being down right insane. Clary took it upon herself to rid the earth of this terrible evil. It was happening tonight, Clary was going to kill Alec Lightwood.

All dressed up in her terrifying costume Clary crept towards Alec's bedroom where she hoped he would be asleep. Her plan was to wait in the shadows of his room and make small sounds until he finally awoke at which point she would attack. For her weapon she had chosen a chainsaw, a little unorthodox maybe not to mention noisy but she had put a soundless rune on it and this would really add to the terror factor. Clary was no blood thirsty murderer but she knew this had to be done and by the angel she was going to do it right. Getting into Alec's room was easy and he was clearly asleep on the bed as there was a lump under the bed covers that was approximately Alec sized. Between two minute intervals Clary made small shuffling sounds in order to wake Alec. After a few attempts to wake him the light suddenly flickered on…oh no she had been discovered! Wasting no more time Clary turned on the chainsaw a leapt into motion, swinging it towards the lump in the bed as she quickly wiped off the duvet (she wanted to see the life leave Alec's eyes once and for all.) Too late Clary realised that the lump under to duvet was not Alec but a rather large toy cat. Even later she realised it was not, indeed, a rather large toy cat but a rather large real cat; it was a cat she recognised…it was Church and he was dead. He appeared to be eight times his normal size, how was that even possible? All this flashed through Clary's mind but not quick enough for her to stop the chainsaw crashing down onto the giant fluffy belly of Church. In a strange was the silence only made it worse, it was a stifling sort of terrible silence and Clary tried to gulp down a scream that was climbing up her throat. The silent chainsaw ripped through Church and he pretty much exploded but to Clary's horror it was not blood or guts that came tumbling out but thousands of squares of Turkish delight. They still smelt sweet and rosy and were even dusted with a fine coat of icing sugar. With this Church deflated back to his normal size with a hiss of air as he expelled all the sweet treats, sort of like a balloon deflating. To Clary's surprise and relief the cat opened his eyes and hoped up onto his paws, jumping lightly of the bed. He began sauntering out the room but turned back to look at Clary, pricking his ears then another unexpected happening occurred, a deep boom of a voice echoed from Church's mouth "And I say amen to that" he said in a sort of ghetto voice. Clary's jaw literally dropped as the cat turned and retreated through the open door, as soon as he was gone the door mysteriously slammed behind him.

Church could talk? Oh well, that was a question for another day the more pressing question was where on Earth was Alec?

Clary didn't have to wait long before she had her answer. Above her the ceiling fan turned on abruptly, making Clary jump. She looked up. At this point she was not overly surprised to see that Alec had casually tied an apple onto one of the fans rotating blades with a piece of wool and was now biting onto that apple which was somehow suspending him as he spun around with the fan. It was picking up speed which meant Alec was spinning quite fast now, it was quite comical to look at as his arms and legs were flailing behind the rest of his body while he hung onto the apple with only his teeth. The fan was spinning so quickly now Clary could only see a blur. Suddenly Alec was flung off the fan and was smashed into the wall. He landed on the ground at an awkward angle, his legs and arms bent in the wrong direction. Cautiously, Clary wondered over to the body and the vacant stare off Alec's expression confirmed her theory… he was dead. Clary was about to rejoice, finally it was done and this sick little man was rid from the world, when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her and a cloth was brought to her face. It foul and bitter smelling but that was her last thought before her eyes rolled back into her eyes and her consciousness slipped away.

"The old chloroform cloth from behind trick. Works a treat every time." Clary's head was buzzing and she barely managed to open her eyes. When she did she saw a face inches from hers, it was Alec of course. His eyes were bright and excited, showing no hint of remorse for his past crimes and his smile was wide and open mouthed. For some reason he had shaved his eyebrows off, Alec caught Clary looking at the non-existent brows and smiled wider. "Oh, yes. Well spotted. I haven't applied them yet. All in good time, all in good time." Four more minutes passed of Alec staring at Clary like this and after every 30 seconds his face got closer and his smile got wider. For a moment Clary thought she was paralysed with fear but she soon realised she was literally paralysed, she couldn't move Alec had done something to her. Apparently the time was good and Alec announced "Time for application" with a wiggle of his naked brow. Reaching to the coffee table Alec opened a bag of liquorice all sorts and fished around inside. Assuming he was going to use the long black pieces of liquorice as eyebrows Clary got a shock when he turned around and was sporting a pair of the blue circle sweets also contained in the packet. "What a treat, oh what a treat" Alec murmured to himself and he rubbed his hands together menacingly. He then stalked off to his wardrobe and retrieved a coat from inside, putting it on he admired himself in the long mirror. "What do you think of my new coat then, eh?" He asked but it was clear he wasn't talking to Clary as he knew full well she couldn't answer for he had taped her mouth over as a precaution. Then coat was long and flamboyant, it swept the floor gracefully as Alec turned and swished admiring himself from every angle. Still wearing the new coat Alec sauntered back over to Clary "Feel how soft it is, oh yes, I only buy coats of the highest quality just feel how soft my new purchase is." Clary didn't have a choice in the matter because she was paralysed and Alec thrust the overlarge sleeve onto her face and started rubbing it and smooshing in all over . Strangely the sleeve smelt like nail polish remover with a hint of the water the penguins were kept in at the zoo. Without warning Alec turned his coat to suction mode and it began hoovering her face, it was extremely powerful and was tugging on her skin. Just as Clary thought her face was about to be sucked clean off, the sleeve was wrenched away from her face. Alec was collapsed on the floor and her saviour stood above, it was a face she recognised and loved it was Alec- wait no this was all wrong. She looked down at the coat-wearing body on the floor, his hair was curly and golden, the boy on the floor was clearly Jace. The Alec stood above her was talking fast "I'm gonna get you out of her Clary don't worry." He looked down at the Jace character "God, I can't believe he would do something like this. Capture you I mean, I never would have guessed he as capable of this, never would've guessed he was a madman." It was safe to say Clary was thoroughly confused now. Alec gently picked her up and took her to the door whispering all the time "It's okay, it's gonna be okay."

They left the room and Clary was expecting to go out into the hallway but as they walked out the door they went into the very same room they had just been in. This of course added even more confused to Clary's thoughts- they had just come out of Alec's room but were now entering Alec's room. All of a sudden Alec's gentleness was gone and he threw Clary's still limp body back onto his bed. The only thing different about this room was that there was no Jace character lying on the floor. Alec cackled with manic laughter "I do entertain myself, I really do. Did you like that Clary? The old switcheroo! Jace the madman, as if!" He grabbed a carton of milk that was poking out of his sock draw and thrust it above his head "No. I am the madman!" he screeched in such a high pitch you wouldn't have thought it possible for a manly man to reach. He then proceeded to pour the milk over his head in a shower of milky goodness. His black hair was still dripping milk when he came over to Clary's bedside, he looked enraged "You fool, you absolute fool! I ordered strawberry milk not this unethical Satan juice." "Oh, how you have angered me Clazza I think it's time you were punished." He smiled and nodded to himself laughing slightly with that open mouthed grin on his creepy face. Snapping out of this and his anger returned and he grabbed a giant megaphone that was strapped to his ankle, he bellowed into it "Bring out the Gordon-o-tron!"

Above Clary two ceiling panels slid open and behind them was an enormously fat man dressed in a Victorian bathing suit. He was strapped to a harness parallel with Clary lying on the bed and was being winched down slowly. In the meantime Alec was clapping his hands a little in-between eating popcorn he had miraculously produced from somewhere. This was it Clary thought she was going to be squashed to death by the Gordon-o-tron. Now, the fat man's face was just inches away from Clary's face. He had no emotion, in fact his facial expression was that of and slug and slugs don't have faces. But then the Gordon face melted off-of course it was just a rubber mask. The underneath was that of Alec and it whispered "Me again" before slowly being lowered onto Clary's frail body and squeezing the life out of her.

Alec was very pleased with his new Turkish delight container. It had been very rude of Clary to release his last Church model, what would he do with all those chunks of Turkish delight if he didn't even have a suitable container. However, it was very nice of Clary to volunteer to become his new holder for the sweets. It had been an easy process; after he had squeezed out all the unnecessary items from her skin sack he was able to insert the sweets without any problems. He didn't want anyone finding his stash so he carefully dressed the Clary container in his fabulous coat and hung her up in his wardrobe.


End file.
